Thursday 12 July 2012

Why no one would live in NYC in the Marvel Universe


“Honey, I’m home! I got bad news; I’m not going to have a job for a while.”

“What happened?”

“Apparently some aliens started attacking the city, destroyed everything.”

“So the aliens ruined the office?”

“Well I think they were aliens. They looked like aliens but then they all kinda just shut down like robots when Iron Man threw that A-bomb the army shot at the city at their mother ship! Come to think of it, the army totally just tried to wipe out the entire city! Anyway they weren’t anywhere near the office. But the Hulk came out of nowhere destroying three floors.”

“How long will it take the company to rebuild?”

“They can’t, Jim says they didn’t have Hulk insurance.”

“Oh how awful! But why did it take you so long to get home then?”

“Subway was down; apparently something happened to one of the trains,

…had to take a cab back and the traffic was terrible.”

“Oh dear, well if that wasn’t bad enough, Timmy will have to be moved schools.”

“What happened?”

“The letter from the principle says a giant lizard smashed through it. No one’s allowed back until repairs are made.”

“Man, what a day! Hey, let’s say we do something to get our minds off of it? Want to check out that new Stark Expo across town?”

“We can’t, It’s been closed down!”

“Why?”

“A bunch of robots went crazy and started shooting everything up...

...the Johnsons were there when it happened, little Becky got crushed by a robot Iron Man shot out of the sky.”

“Oh that’s a shame! And so soon after they lost both their sons! I remember how excited they were to be working as security guards on Liberty Island.”

“Yes and then they had to get stomped to death by that Toad character.”

“Actually, only Johnny got stomped; Frank Jr. got turned into a mutant by Magneto’s machine and then had his body painfully reject the process.”

“Oh that’s right.”

“I’m going to watch tv. Oh damn, the tv’s out! Honey...

...is there anything wrong with the reception?”

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